#7. Not The Alpacas!
“Kid: “I’m gonna punch every alpaca in the state right in the face if you don’t bump my grade up from a 87% to a 90%” My response: “Did you do the extra credit?” Kid: “No.” Me: “Those poor alpacas. Don’t forget to bring sun screen. You’re going to be punching alpacas for a long time in this state.” Kid: “Wow. You’re heartless.” He then turned to the class and Steve Martin in The Jerk fashion yelled “This lady hates alpacas!!” Middle schoolers are an odd bunch of humans.”
#8. But Did He Pass?
“A student once admitted that he hadn’t studied for the final exam, but turned in an alternative hand-written final exam featuring his own questions.”
#9. Not Only In The Movies
“Something I thought only happened in shitty movies where a girl came up to my desk and undid the top couple buttons of her blouse and said “Mister CLASSWORK, I’d do anything for a better grade” I suggested studying and reported the incident to my principal before any rumors whatsoever could take hold.”
#10. Crying On Command
“I’ve been offered money…food…a date…and this was all before I was done with school. This is just while I was a TA. The most memorable have to be the criers. They come in and cry hoping for a better grade. This works surprisingly well on male professors, especially the Science ones, because they don’t know what to do with a crying woman, so they typically give in.”
#11. Twerk Twerk Twerk Twerk Twerk
“My friend offered a teacher twerking lessons in exchange for a better grade. HIS offer was not accepted.”
#12. Charming Indeed
“I was the student in this situation. For two subjects, PE and Intro to IT, which is not really related to my course of nursing but I had to take them. I never attended any of these classes because I overlooked my subjects and schedule when I enrolled. For IT, my prof agreed to let me not attend any of his classes as long as I take and pass his finals which I fortunately did. For PE, a chocolate cake for the lowest passing grade. I know it all sounds like a sham but this is in the Philippines and in a small private college. I think it also helped that my profs for these two classes are uhmm…gay and I can be very charming if need be.”
#13. Come Up With Something Better, Bro
“My first year University students only offer lame excuses (“my girlfriend’s grandfather died so I couldn’t concentrate on the exam” for example). Never bribes or gifts or something that might actually change my mind.”
#14. Not That Innocent
“All the virginities. Every last one.”
Keep on keepin’ on.